Doing ALL THE THINGS

The Hubs is on a business trip this week. For some weird reason, business trips make me feel like a teenager whose parents are away for the weekend. PARTY, MY PLACE, 10 PM. I’m never going to sleep again! I can sew all day and night! I can stay up late and read books! I WILL DO ALL THE THINGS.

This usually lasts for about 24 hours, or however long it takes me to fall over from fatigue.

Here’s what I’ve done so far:

Simplicity 1887, View E

I wore this skirt today, and it’s pretty comfortable. The fabric is a soft stretch woven that I might call poplin, but it doesn’t seem nearly crisp enough. This pattern does call for softer materials, so the weight is fine as far as that goes. I was a bit worried at first that it might cling to my legs while walking but that hasn’t happened. The design is far too busy to pick out any of the waistband/pocket details, but I think this is a nice pattern for folks who like the flat front/elastic back waistband treatment. The longer version of the skirt is knee-length at 21″ so that would probably work better for most people but I like to live dangerously.

I also made this epic fail:

RUN! It’s McCall’s 6566!

It may be partly the color, but I can honestly say the last time I wore anything that looked like this, I was in the hospital. I made McCall 6566, View D a while ago and blogged about how badly it turned out. This attempt was View B, which I made in an XS because the Small was too big last time. Yes, the pattern went straight into the circular file after that. In my own defense, I did the neckline EXACTLY the way they described even though it made absolutely no sense. Note to self: when instructions make no sense, don’t follow them. Someone screwed up, and that someone usually isn’t you. Also, HOLY SHOULDERS BATMAN. I look like I have a set of pads on under there.

Other things I’ve done while not sleeping:

— Looked up twatwaffle on Pinterest. There are not nearly enough twatwaffle pins. GET ON IT, PEOPLE.

— Plucked a silver dollar-sized patch of hair out of my shin. Not for any good reason, just because I like plucking hair and didn’t want to remove my eyebrows.

— Looked up everybody in Babylon 5 on IMDB. Did you know Richard Biggs died young? OMG, TRAGIC.

— Drank two White Russians (on two different days, I’m not a complete lush).

— Made another skirt, which I will attempt to wear tomorrow. I used my coverstitch machine for the second time, with much better results. I AM A ROCK STAR.

— Bookmarked instructions on how to cut, bleach and dye my own hair. It costs over $100 to get my hair done, people. Even a hair cut alone is $60 with tip, and  I need that money for fabric. I may end up bald but I will be WELL DRESSED.

I could list more things, but for some weird reason I can’t stop yawning…

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Posted on June 12, 2012, in my weird sense of humor, sewing. Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.

  1. Twatwaffle? Such an excellent word…….

    These instructions for cutting hair? Where?

    I’m having shirt trauma atm. I have the fabric, I have the pattern,and I have The Fear (in case it goes tits up like last time, the other fabric was cheap, this isn’t)

    • The instructions I’m looking at are on wikihow: http://www.wikihow.com/layer-cut-your-own-hair. These are very close to the way one of my friends does her hair, so I feel pretty secure saying they’re accurate. Also, they probably work best if you have messy, semi-layered hair already (like me).

      I also get The Fear, but I tell myself it’s coming from a place of scarcity. It’s not like this is the only nice fabric we will ever own, or the mills aren’t pumping out more as we speak. All The Fear does is prevent you from taking risks, making mistakes and learning. Supposedly, if you approach the universe with a philosophy of abundance — I can always source more fabric — then the universe will respond accordingly and your makes will go smoother. That’s the theory anyway. I’m not actually sure it works….

  2. In my never to be completed or started epic novel- the dowager Margaret Dumont character will of course be Lady Amelia Twatwaffle…….she will probably adore Mccalls 6566…

  3. Hey. My hubs is away on business all week as well. Hmmm, I don’t think this is the first time both our hubs’ have been away at the same time. Are you starting to get suspicious that maybe they are travelling together in some sort of secret gay love trist? Or is that just me? Just me then, ok.

  4. Cute skirt.

    I laughed out loud when I read about M6566, cause when I saw the pic, I thought why is she wearing a hospital gown?

    I wonder if the hair will grow slower on the plucked area of your shin?

    I miss Babylon 5, and I can’t believe Richard Biggs is gone and I never noticed.

    Try a B52 one day. Love them. The last time I was inebriated, I drank so many of these I lost count, was so sick I haven’t drank since. True story.

    Saw my mother do so many strange things to her hair in the pursuit of saving $$, they always cost more to fix than the original process would have. Don’t do it.

    • Hair does in fact grow slower in plucked areas. I’ve observed this before.

      I’m only now starting Season 3 of B-5 and can not believe how much I love it.

      B-52s sound delish but totally rich, like one would be enough.

      I have in fact successfully cut bangs and dyed my hair, so I have some experience with doing horrific things to my own head. If I mess up, eh…it’s hair. It grows.

  5. My husband told me about Richard Biggs a while ago. A muscian in Toronto recently died young the same way. So sad.

    Oh that is an epic fail I’m afraid. No pattern is worth saving when there are so many other great options out there.

    I love the skirt. Have you posted the fabric before? It looks familiar. Might just be triggering a grey/black/white flower print I have in my own stash. I really should stop shopping and start using up the fabric I have.

    Think of all the nutrition in that milk. Really, you are drinking for your health. 😉

    • I actually showed off that floral print in a Fabric District haul, so maybe that’s what you remember it from? It does look like a lot of other things; I have several prints that kinda blend together like that.

      I like the way you think — yeah, I’m totally drinking all that milk for my health! At this rate, my bones will be titanium by the time I’m 80.

  6. I’m pretty sure (hoping) that having two white russians in one day doesn’t make you a lush either… Just as long as it’s not a pattern repeated over the next thirty years.

  7. Mate! (as they say near-abouts) Biff M6566 in the bin NOW, envelope, rubbish instructions and most importantly all tissue. Bin it. Bad bad pattern. Sigh. Oh, and the shirt too.

    Good skirt BTW. You can def. keep that 🙂

    JJ is away for a couple of weeks and I see some late nights for me too, tempered a little by the fact that my two are small enough to get up fairly early AM regardless of how late I go to bed.

    PS I too wanna know whether the plucked bit grows differently to the un-plucked bit.

    PPS maybe I should find the BB5 series and settle in? No no no – sewing to be done. Mumble mumble

    • Oh, the Babylon 5 series is so worth it — but perhaps best to watch in bits and pieces rather than all at once. I’d never get my sewing done if I didn’t make myself turn the TV off occasionally.

      When my kids were small, I sewed during their nap times. Now they’re older and I can’t wait until school finishes (this week) so NONE of us have to get up for anything!

      Bad bad pattern, ha. It’s not the pattern, it’s the designers; I wonder if we could spank them for giving us such terrible drafting?

      • Spank them? Now there’s an idea. Or something like that anyway. No I know what – make them make and then wear what they design. Ha. And spank them.

  8. Skirt is adorable. You are hysterical. Next time try a “nuts and berries”– half Chambord and half Frangelico on ice. You can also add some milk or cream, Super sweet and super smooth. One a century is enough.

    • One a century? My goodness. I’ll have to try that, but I don’t think I can promise to wait for the next hundred years to have another. Can we go for a half-century? Perhaps 25 years? Wait, maybe I should try the drink first before I start negotiating away my drinking rights….

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