Sci Fi Sunday — Cowboys & Aliens

I apologize for not publishing this yesterday but I was out getting my drunk on. That’s a good reason, right? Anyhow, I got the Hubs a gift package for Valentine’s/his birthday (they’re one day apart so we celebrate them together) which included several movies. One of those movies was Cowboys & Aliens, which really should be Cowboys vs. Aliens — and that’s just the beginning of the problems with this movie.

Here’s what Cowboys & Aliens has:

— Daniel Craig’s ass in chaps

— Harrison Ford being rugged and growly

— Olivia Wilde being…there. And also, briefly, naked although you can’t see much.

— The usual faithful dog, tough orphan, prostitute with a heart of gold, gang of outlaws, Indian sidekick, et cetera, et cetera. In fact, the title really should be Cowboys & Cliches.

What Cowboys & Aliens does NOT have:

— a comprehensible plot

— narrative continuity

— good acting

— dialogue that doesn’t make you want to throw your shoe at the TV.

Three-quarters of the way through the film, I turned to the Hubs and said, “I think this is in the top ten worst movies I’ve ever seen.” He said, “Oh, that’s a little harsh. Top ten, really?” “Well, it’s not in the top five, but that’s only because of all the pretty people.”

Verdict: Mildly entertaining, assuming you can turn your internal critic off. A preliminary cushion of alcohol is recommended. Do not expose to children — there are a few scenes that veer into racist, sexist territory. Besides, you could be arrested for contributing to the stupidity of a minor.

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Posted on February 20, 2012, in Sci-Fi Sunday. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. /sigh. No big disagreement here. I really, really wanted this to be an awesome movie, both for the concept and the cast. I did manage to enjoy it the first time through (I’m pretty good at shutting my brain off when I want to) but they could have done so much better…

    And I think it’s “and” as opposed to “vs” as a riff on Cowboys & Indians…

    • The cast IS pretty good. You have to wonder how they read the script and agreed to sign on for this. Was there a better version of this film left on the cutting room floor? The mind boggles….

  2. Thanks! I’ll cross this one off the list. Just looking at the previews it looked hookie. Like Aliens meets the Wild West. And then I thought well it has Harrison Ford in it, it must be OK. Not so much, huh? I hope you had a good time with the holiday / birthday combo!

    • We had fun celebrating (although the kids had less fun because we had cheesecake — they are not fans of cheesecake). The movie did look hokey, but I thought it might be one of those “critics hate it, audiences love it” kind of things. Unfortunately, no.

  3. Saw this on DVD too fortunately so managed to avoid the cinema per seat pricing, thank everything that is and isn’t holy. No alcohol was consumed prior to viewing, more’s the pity, and I have to admit that I remember very little about the whole thing. Brain was most certainly switched off.

    We should have guessed the moment we saw the title, kids. Hah.

    • I had my laptop open during a good portion of the movie and alas, I still remember far too much. More alcohol might have helped….or it might not.

      The title was kind of a giveaway, huh?

  4. Just based on the movie title, I didn’t have high hopes. Reminded me of Snakes on a Plane.

  5. It was good trashy fun. I enjoyed turning my brain off while it played. We watched it in the theatre mind you so I was already twitching from an excess of high fructose corn syrup and greasy fried things…

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