Sci Fi Sunday — Cowboys & Aliens
I apologize for not publishing this yesterday but I was out getting my drunk on. That’s a good reason, right? Anyhow, I got the Hubs a gift package for Valentine’s/his birthday (they’re one day apart so we celebrate them together) which included several movies. One of those movies was Cowboys & Aliens, which really should be Cowboys vs. Aliens — and that’s just the beginning of the problems with this movie.
Here’s what Cowboys & Aliens has:
— Daniel Craig’s ass in chaps
— Harrison Ford being rugged and growly
— Olivia Wilde being…there. And also, briefly, naked although you can’t see much.
— The usual faithful dog, tough orphan, prostitute with a heart of gold, gang of outlaws, Indian sidekick, et cetera, et cetera. In fact, the title really should be Cowboys & Cliches.
What Cowboys & Aliens does NOT have:
— a comprehensible plot
— narrative continuity
— good acting
— dialogue that doesn’t make you want to throw your shoe at the TV.
Three-quarters of the way through the film, I turned to the Hubs and said, “I think this is in the top ten worst movies I’ve ever seen.” He said, “Oh, that’s a little harsh. Top ten, really?” “Well, it’s not in the top five, but that’s only because of all the pretty people.”
Verdict: Mildly entertaining, assuming you can turn your internal critic off. A preliminary cushion of alcohol is recommended. Do not expose to children — there are a few scenes that veer into racist, sexist territory. Besides, you could be arrested for contributing to the stupidity of a minor.