Who Made ME The Boss Around Here?

The Hubs is on a business trip. I know I spend too much time around schoolchildren because I almost typed “field trip.” But whatever, he’s been away since Sunday and I have been busy Being an Adult.

Funny Take Kids To Work Ecard: Good luck convincing your kids you do anything.

Something happens to me when I’m left on my own. It’s like a voice in my brain that says, “If something goes wrong, it’s ALL YOUR FAULT.” In order to ignore that little voice and not have a complete nervous breakdown, I fall into this manic habit of Doing Stuff. I run errands. I go to the store and the bank. I Clean All The Things. It’s a disease. I even cleaned the gecko cages, filled up the water tanks and bought them fresh crickets. It was probably a monumental day in what I imagine is the gecko religion: “The sun turned off, the heavens opened up and it rained down food! We are truly blessed!” They got luckier than Youngest, who actually DID have a field trip this week for which I forgot to pack him a sack lunch. You can relax — he did have a lunch, just that it wasn’t in a sack. So his teacher put it in a sack for him because I suck at remembering field trip days. I don’t know who these children are and why I’m in charge of them.

Needless to say, there has been no sewing around here. No exercising either — after going to the bank and Cleaning All The Things, I have no willpower or energy left. I’m also supposed to be heading up to Monterey on Thursday to join the Hubs, which is great but it means I need to leave a laundry list of instructions for my mother-in-law. How to pick up the kids from school without getting rammed in the carpool lane. Oh, and the birthday party Middlest has been invited to on Friday? Here are the directions, the time, and the pre-wrapped gift. GAH.

Yes, I know I shouldn’t complain — first world problems and all that. However, this whole “meet me on my business trip” thing? These are the only vacations we’ve taken for the last three or four years. On the one hand, it saves money…on the other hand, at least one of us is usually stressed out. Him, because he’s still working. Me, because I have to drop things midweek. The only way this would be relaxing is if I could spend the whole week sewing…right up to leaving on a jet plane Thursday morning. Yeah, right. Well, I can dream, can’t I?

Posted on January 31, 2012, in my weird sense of humor. Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. LMAO! OK, I think this explains my husband, who normally can barely be bothered to wash dishes—but if I go out of town, I come back to a spotless. house. Every. Single. Time. I had thought it was some passive-aggressive “why aren’t you a better housekeeper” guilt trip, but maybe it’s just nerves. I like that explanation better, anyway. Hubs has only ditched me with the kids once, and it was oddly relaxing, aside from the part that I couldn’t sleep for most of the two weeks. And I didn’t have him around to guilt trip me into doing the dishes.

    Is that like Monterey, Mexico? Cool! My BFF’s sister lives there!

    Honestly, work travel kinda sucks. The only trips I ever get to go on are for school, and I either spend the whole time in a museum basement (that would be London, Prague, and NYC) or roasting out in the sun in a farmer’s field somewhere wondering when I’m going to step on something poisonous (that was Texas). I know, poor me, right?

    Have a great time—once you make it there. 🙂

    • The first time Hubs went out of town, I couldn’t sleep either. I have made up for it many times over since then…

      It’s actually Monterey, Northern CA (I didn’t even know there was one in Mexico, surprise!).

      I’d actually enjoy spending time in a museum basement, but the farmer’s field sounds like hell. Then again, it was in Texas…..

  2. I Clean All The Things. I love this, if only. I don`t even have the excuse of children. Only dogs and they don`t have field trips or birthday parties.

    • I think dogs are a lot like preschool children, so they generate their own mess. More than enough anyway!

      I know some people who give their dogs birthday parties. We have a dog bakery in our town. Strange, but true.

  3. First of all, can you come rub up against me so I can contract this CLEAN ALL THE THINGS disease you have? Because I have never ever had that impetus. Ever.

    Second, that counts as exercise. Cleaning all the things has gotta be a good cardio experience. At least working up a little sweat, yes?

    Have fun in Monterey (I’m assuming the one in northern CA? I didn’t even know there WAS a Monterey Mexico . . .). Try to relax and have some fun. Go to the aquarium. Pet a stingray. That is always fun!

    • I don’t think this particular disease is contagious, sadly. Otherwise I could give it to the children and that would make life SO much easier.

      I also don’t clean fast enough to work up a sweat…I guess I can put it down as “resistance training.” Mostly because I have to overcome my own resistance to doing it.

      We’ve done the aquarium….probably will spend time in Carmel, then in Solvang on our way back.

  4. Hmm, I need some of that Clean All Things to show up at my house.

    My husband is more likely to travel for work than I am. I don’t mind when he goes away, it’s more time for myself. I don’t watch tv when he’s not around so I get more time for sewing and reading. In some ways I sleep better without him snoring, but I’m not as good about actually going to bed. Internet makes it easier too. If he can reply to emails like normal, it doesn’t feel like he’s so far away. Although I could have managed with fewer “DID YOU KNOW THEY CAN DRINK ON THE TRAIN?” phone calls as he was heading back to the hotel from London on his last UK trip.

    On the flip side, about 4 years ago I went to Calgary for 3 days. I came home to blackened fish (trout maybe, I can’t remember, but he bought it fresh at the fish counter), green beans, rice and flowers. I got the impression he missed me (particularly by the green beans, most meals he cooks are exactly meat and potatoes). The house was probably not sparkly clean, but I was too distracted by dinner and flowers to notice either way.

    Enjoy Monteray. Any time you can get away as a couple is a good thing. Even if it’s not truly a vacation, it’s entirely adult time. Maybe time for another kind of exercise. 😉

    • Sometimes I like it when the Hubs goes out of town because I think, “Oh, I’ll have all this time to sew!” It never, ever works out that way. I have come to the realization that I am one of those people who needs to be over scheduled to get things done…otherwise, I really do just sit in front of the TV. Or in front of a book.

      Yeah, I’m thinking of this as couple time because we will most likely be too busy to celebrate Valentine’s or his birthday this month. So this is supposed to be like a “two-of-us” getaway before March Madness (around here, that means choir not basketball).

  5. Great line: “I don’t know who these children are and why I’m in charge of them.”

  6. You know, to work off the stress of getting EVERYTHING done before you hop on that flight (plus his work stress while there), just go out for dinner and lunch (well, you have to anyway right?) and have several wines/beers/margueritas (or whatever takes your particular fancy). Because the only ones waking you up in the morning will be, um, you. If nothing else that’s enough of a change and break. I reckon.

    I’m jealous. JJ’s off to Melbourne in March for a few days and we can’t afford for me to come too. I’d love to wander around checking Melbourne out. No kids. Hell, no kids. Gorgeous though they are.

    • That’s true, we can sleep in. My kids are at the age where, if they’re not in school, they don’t wake us up. But staying in a hotel means no cats walking on us at 6 am, which serves the same purpose.

      I’m sure we’ll knock back a few, but I’m at the age where alcohol keeps me awake….

  7. My wife never leaves. She has left the house overnight about five nights in the past five years. But when she’s gone, it’s all party time for me. I put the kids to bed, clean everything, and then have lots of beers. I live in a city, so if there’s an emergency, the ambulance is here faster than I can get down to the garage.

    But I can never sleep, either. If I were honest about the beers, I would say that I’m basically drugging myself to sleep. I don’t ever crash before two when she’s gone, and then I’m up at five A.M., wide awake, not hungover and ready to go.

    But wait. You mentioned that you didn’t have time to work out. Do you usually? How and when do you do this? With the kids around? Do you do it at home?

    • I usually get up while the Hubs and kids are still sleeping and either jog outside, do some stretches or go to the gym. The kids will wake up on their own and start getting ready for school (remember, Youngest is 7) and I’ll be able to take a shower when I get home.

      Please note that this requires getting up between 5 and 6 am, which would be why it’s the first thing out the window when the schedule changes.

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