T.G.I. Very Much F.
I tend to keep time by weeks. Maybe because I’ve got kids in school and that’s how they mark the days, constantly looking forward to the weekend? Whatever the reason, this week was useless. This week was the like the Vice Presidency — I just hung around waiting to be needed. Here’s how I filled my time:
1) Ogling toddlers. Looking at a two-year-old in Starbucks, wearing a Snow White costume, I found myself thinking, “Would I let my daughter, if I had one, out of the house in that? Yeah, why not — might as well get your money’s worth. But I would make sure she didn’t wear striped underpants under it.” Appropriate panty education starts early.
2) Sewing two skirts. Yes, I know I only posted one here. The less said about the second one, the better. Abject failure is not photogenic.
3) Kvetching. See also moaning, eye rolling and yelling, “Hey!” a lot.
4) Making a royal mess of things — my sewing room, the kitchen, the laundry pile, the closet. Whatever I touched this week — it ain’t pretty.
5) Buying a new pillow. My original pillow was flatter than a teenage runway model’s chest. After a night of not sleeping, where I was having these bizarre waking dream hallucinations of shopping and wound up very, very angry at the Hubs for twitching in his sleep, I went out and bought a new pillow. It cost $15, because it is one of those stupid looking contour foam things that I find ridiculous. Worth every penny. Well, worth every penny if you sleep on your side.
Speaking of sleep, before I head off that way, let me wake us all up with some good ol’ fashioned head thrashing. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you…The Offspring!