(Don’t) Walk This Way
As of this week, I’ve started running again.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. No, wait. That’s the creation of the universe as explained by Douglas Adams. Frankly, me running could also be regarded as a bad move. I have shin splints, knock knees and a tilted pelvis. My feet are prone to stress fractures. Somewhere out there is a running manual with a drawing of my anatomy and a note saying, “DO NOT DO THIS.”
I keep coming back to running, though, for a few reasons:
1) It’s the only exercise I’ve found that actually engages all of my leg muscles. I’ve tried biking, stair master, elliptical trainer, and I was a swimmer for years. Ten minutes of running beats 45 minutes of anything else. Every time I start running again, no matter how good of shape I may be in, I can feel it in my muscles.
2) It’s the only exercise that doesn’t bore the everlovin’ sh*t outta me. Put me on a machine for more than five minutes, and I’m desperately begging magazines off innocent bystanders or trying to read someone else’s Kindle from the side (note that this is not actually possible, but it doesn’t stop me from trying). Running — even on a treadmill — feels liberating.
3) If the zombie apocalypse comes sooner rather than later, I’m going to feel really silly for being too slow to outrun a zombie.
So, I’m back to running….slowly. Building up my endurance and trying not to completely wreck myself in the process. All of which means, this week, I’m walking kind of funny. Parts of my lower half are very unhappy with me. If you remember the old Animaniacs cartoons, they had an ongoing joke where someone would say, “Walk this way,” and Yakko, Wakko and Dot would promptly follow them while mimicking their walk exactly. I spent a lot of time on Youtube trying to find a clip of that, with no success. I did find THIS:
I may be walking funny, but I’ve got nothing on Monty Python.