Dear Diary, This Week I was Delusional and My Sister was Crazy…
Just kidding. I don’t have a sister. Although I’ve been having an exceptionally stupid week — even for me.
On Tuesday I took the car in, since the “Check Engine” light was on and I tend to be paranoid. The mechanic took one minute to diagnose the car with gas-cap-left-off. I guess I should just be glad it wasn’t something expensive and they didn’t charge me for it. Then I left my water bottle behind in my haste to escape my humiliation, and the guy had to run after me. My mechanic probably thinks I’m an idiot. AWESOME.
Between Tuesday and Wednesday, I managed to offend three people by accident. Usually I offend people on purpose, but in this case it was totally open mouth, insert foot. I suck. Fortunately, they’re all still talking to me so I did apologize, profusely. I’m really sorry, guys, ok? I have the IQ of dirt right now.
On Wednesday, I got a brilliant idea for a Halloween costume and ran around trying to put it together. Realized at the end of the day that I’d spent over $75, half the stuff didn’t fit, and I didn’t even have a place to wear a Halloween costume. We don’t do parties and the adults don’t dress up for trick-or-treat in my neighborhood. Now I have to run around returning several things. If I have to dress up, screw it, I’m going as a zombie. Face makeup + torn clothes = free.
Last night, I got into an argument with Oldest about how to label the small child at the Halloween event he was assisting with (we’ll leave the whole issue with labeling people for another day). Said child appeared perturbed by the costumes and kept following Oldest around and hitting him with a bag of candy. I insisted that the little boy was mentally challenged and Oldest insisted, “No, he needs THERAPY or something!” Apparently, my kids aren’t really clear on the difference between mentally challenged and mentally ill. I would have explained it to him, but I was feeling mentally challenged. I actually just got clarity on that conversation now by typing it out.
I finally got around to cutting something out today — a McCall’s skirt. I’m in between 12 and 14 and I only had the 4-12 size so I cut out the 12. I’m hoping I can let out the side seams a tiny bit and still make it work, but it may all end in tears. Here’s where I am so far:
Thinking I can fit into a straight size 12 might be yet another delusion, but WHATEVER. I have to go with the vision the sewing mojo conks me in the head with, and this was the vision for the week.
Maybe what I really need is to be kidnapped by hill folk.