Not Much Sewing — Or Anything Else — Going On Here

Guys and gals, it’s been a tough week. I finished my backpack, but then was at a loss for a new project. An easy skirt tutorial turned out not to work for me (the Starboard skirt — anyone tried it?), and I couldn’t get motivated to make anything else.

On top of which, I’m sick. Nothing serious or tragic, but I have a chronic condition which flares up occasionally. The biggest side effect is that the pain has a severe negative impact on my ability to get to sleep and stay asleep. I’ve been a chronic insomniac almost since birth, and my body seems to insist that I shouldn’t need more than 6 or 7 hours per night. I’m currently functioning on 4.

I know why I’m sick, and part of it is a lack of self-care plus huge amounts of stress. I’ve been ignoring my diet and consuming a lot of crap, plus my exercise routine has dropped off. We’ve begun this school year with activities almost every single day after school and on the weekends. Managing the schedules of five people is NOT easy. On top of which, I will be gone Friday morning into Sunday, visiting my mother.

My mother and I have a complicated relationship. I used to call her “Mommie Dearest” to her face (while I was still in single digits, which makes me either a very dumb kid or very ballsy). She is not the most stable person and my upbringing was erratic, at best. Visiting with her is always a bit fraught.

I’m unlikely to have a chance to blog again before the weekend is out, so I’ll see you all on the other side!

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Posted on October 6, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 18 Comments.

  1. I saw the picture and thought, yeah, me too. I has a sad sums me up to the point I think I’ll be taking a personal day instead of going to work.

    But I’m just sad, not sick nor in physical pain. Knowing why doesn’t change the fact that you are in pain, and I am sorry to hear that. I hope your visit with your mom goes as well as it can.

  2. That sucks! Especially complicated mom relationships. When my mom’s up, she’s my best friend in the world. When she’s not—well, it gets really hard. I’ve only recently figured out that this is at least partly my overreaction to her issues—but anyway.

    Take. Care. Of. Yourself. THIS IS NOT OPTIONAL! It’s super-easy to not do, especially as a mom, but it is absolutely necessary.

    Also, insomnia sucks. Balls.

    Good luck!

    • Thanks! I’m starting to realize that I have to be the adult in our relationship, which makes the crazy easier to deal with.

      I went to the doctor today and got some meds for my symptoms — not a perfect solution, but at least they should relieve the pain so I can sleep better. It’s easy to fall into the trap of “suck it up” when dealing with an ongoing problem, and I tend to forget that there is a middle ground.

  3. That’s a lot of people to manage! I hope your weekend goes well. 🙂

  4. I totally sympathize on the chronic condition. It can be hard to take care of yourself when you have so much else going on. Hope you’re feeling better soon!

  5. Yeah, I’ve got a mom like that too. . .it’s just a thin little slice of heaven, isn’t it? Breath deeply and go to your happy place. For me, that’s Target.

    • I totally love that your happy place is Target. For years, I’ve been reading advice that tells me, “Picture a tropical island….,” and I end up thinking, “hot, sticky place with dangerous creatures? Not relaxing.”

      From now on, when I go to my “happy place,” I’m going to picture Target.

  6. Hope you can kick whatever ails you in the ass soon. Boot that sicky out of yo house.

    I hear you on the bad eating habits kicking up, difficulty managing the tots and the fraughty mother. Breath deep. Take a couple minutes for yourself. And try to stay sane. I mean, if you lose it, who else is gonna run that ship?

  7. I find that keeping my mother in an “amusing character” zone in my mind helps me….I hope your weekend is quick and painless.

  8. strength and love, baby — remember, you ROCK! And I find it helps if I think of Dear Sweet Mama as my completely-incapable-of-taking-care-of-herself girlfriend… kinda like a cheerleader? Who doesn’t put out, of course.

  9. It’s just exhausting, isn’t it? Life is just exhausting. I hope you can get some rest. It sounds to me like you have excellent perspective, which is what one needs to pull oneself out of life’s inevitable sad spots.

    “Suck it up” is the worst advice, ever. Unless it’s war time and you’re on a battlefield, or some other extreme physical circumstance where paying attention to yourself and your body just is not an option. But in the regular life we’re all leading, I think “suck it up” is terrible.

    Were you ever a Seinfeld fan? “Serenity now. Insanity later.” That’s what suck it up amounts to, I think. Kicking the can down the road, but not solving anything.

    Take care…

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