Top Ten Signs You Should Have Turned Off Your Alarm And Gone Back To Sleep This Morning

10. You put your workout shorts on backwards, then briefly consider wearing them that way.

9. You have to hold onto the treadmill at the gym, not because you’re doing anything particularly intense but because remaining upright is a struggle.

8. You call one of your children “sir” because this seems like a reasonable alternative to his name, which you’ve forgotten.

7. You spend the ride to school arguing with a couple of middle schoolers about the difference between a “fail” and an “epic fail.”

6. You attempt to pet Evil Cat and she attempts to eat your hand. This is pretty much her standard modus operandi. You, however, are surprised and lather, rinse, repeat.

5. You spend $60 at Target and realize when walking out that you’ve forgotten what you were there for….a hairbrush.

4. You successfully resist the temptation of a latte, only to succumb to a piece of red velvet cake later. You don’t like red velvet cake.

3. You are delighted to find a copy of the newest book in a favorite mystery series. On sale. So you buy it, only to discover halfway through that it’s an older book. That you’ve read before. Which you go ahead and finish because you can’t remember how it ended.

2. The school is doing a fundraising sale, and you are calloused enough to fill out mailing cards for all your friends and relatives because you no longer care if anyone still talks to you.

1. You take a bath before bed because it’s the easiest way to wash both your ass and your face.

God, I’m sleeping in tomorrow.


Posted on September 13, 2011, in my weird sense of humor. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Sleep in if you can. That child may get uppity if you call him “sir” too often.

  2. I’m having one of those myself — I spent the morning asking everyone what the password to one of our show services was because “somebody f-ed up the computer and now it doesn’t remember it!” Then I remembered… the computer has never known that password… but I actually DO…

    • I tried to connect my laptop to the printer several times last night and this morning before I realized I was unplugging the PRINTER and attempting to connect the computer and the laptop.

      It’s all the computers faults. They are sneaky and exploit our human weaknesses.

  3. Sounds like a morning in our house on any given day of the week.

  4. Yep. #5 all. the. damn. time! I obviously need more sleep as well.

    • People always say “make a list,” but they don’t realize that it’s silly to make a list for one thing and besides, then you have to remember to look at the list.

      I write things on the calendar in the kitchen all the time. The Hubs keeps telling me to use the calendar feature on my phone and I’m all, “But then I’d never see it!”

  5. Oh, that does sound like a rough day. A nap may have been in order.

    I had a headache all day yesterday from a mix of sources, lack of sleep, no A/C at work, the constant whirr of the 6′ metal fan they set up to help with the lack of A/C, poor posture at a crappy desk…. it’s just the kind of headache that creeps up on you and sticks. I thought I looked perky going to bowling last night, first night since May so I was happy to be back and I had a little reading rest at home. First thing someone said to me was “Do you have a headache?” Apparently I can’t hide these things as well as I thought I could.

    • Sadly, I can’t nap. Unless you put me in a car, then I nap like a baby. I guess I should get the Hubs to drive me around the neighborhood when I can’t sleep.

      Ouch for unsolicited headache comments. Do you squint? Because I can tell when the Hubs has a headache by his squints.

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