I’m a Freaking Fairy Tale

This is what I look like right now:

Thanks to a colossal zit in the middle of my forehead. The dewy eyes and flared nostrils come standard around here, but seriously? I thought I was going to stop getting zits when I started getting wrinkles. The fairy tale universe is massively unfair.

Aside from finishing my pajamas, I haven’t done any sewing — not that I don’t want to, but I’m at one of those annoying crossroads where I either don’t have the fabric I need for the projects I want to do, or I can’t match any of the fabric I have with the patterns I would like to use. On top of which, the new winter patterns have come out and they are a major disappointment.

McCall’s 6435 is the only pattern I like from their current collection, and I don’t like it THAT much.

M6435

The blonde model in the front is a dead ringer for the girl who used to be the middle daughter on Seventh Heaven. It’s terribly distracting to be staring at a preacher’s kid with that unwholesome shirt and the come-hither pose. I also can’t figure out how you’re supposed to wear a bra with this; I would just do this pattern as an exercise in color-blocking and use regular fabric rather than sheers.  I do like the implied sweetheart neckline on the t-shirt and the slight suggestion of costume around the design.

You see, I’m dying for costumes these days.  I sew mainly practical things, but this is what I’d really like to wear:

Arthur Rackham’s illustration of Alice in Wonderland.

Eugenio Recuenco’s vision of Puss in Boots.

Russian fairy tale fashion editorial from the UK Telegraph, Fall 2009.

Lily Cole in Dior, for Vogue Magazine’s December 2009 homage to the Met’s production of Hansel and Gretel.

“A Thumb Princess” by Kim Jung Han for Korea Vogue 2006.
Those are way awesome, right?  And they’d go with my horn.
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Posted on September 1, 2011, in my weird sense of humor, sewing. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. I went through a spell in high school where I would only wear dresses. People thought I was weird, but fuck ’em. I’d still do that now but I can’t face a dress at 3:30 in the morning…

    And that pattern looks like something one would wear to play an alien hooker on Star Trek. Which either means I really like it or I really don’t… I’m torn.

    • Not so much the alien hookers, but I can see a Starfleet uniform in there. Crap, now I like it more. I need to go soak my head.

      Also, people thought you were weird based on what you were WEARING? Had they met you?

  2. Um, hello? Did you notice the models? No bras. Obviously.

    And those pictures are disturbing. Some in a good way. Trees dressed as business men though? Creepy as all get out.

    You could totally pull off the last one with that horn though. That would be a rockin look.

  3. My first thought with the pattern was bra oriented as well. I would not do that in a sheer either. And the diagonal print? You really would have to watch your colours to not end up looking like a Trekkie.

    I really like that Alice dress and the skirt on Hansel (the top goes a little… sweet or something for my taste, and it may end up wtih a ski slope effect with such a high neck). You could make either look work without looking too costumey, of anything pairing them with some tough footwear might make a nice contrast.

    • I feel perversely inclined to dress like a Trekkie now. Hah.

      Yeah, Peter Pan collars seem to be in this fall but I think one has to be a bit cautious….the whole look can go kindergarten very fast. I tend to prefer separates in any case.

  4. I will wear those clothes (the fairytale shots) if you do ;).

    The McCall’s is cute (I’m one of those who’ll cheerfully go braless, especially in a knit) but doesn’t look like anything I couldn’t make up myself from a T-shirt pattern I have that I already know fits. You could probably add some kind of a bandeau/shelf inside if you’re in borderline-braless territory.

    • I SMELL A CHALLENGE. Hah.

      See, I’ll go braless but NOT in a knit. To paraphrase Chevy Chase, it gets a bit nipply. Also, I don’t have a basic t-shirt pattern I really like, which is probably one of the reasons I’m drawn to this one. I can see how one would put in a bandeau, but I would need padding to deal with my particular issues and at that point….a bra is really easier. Maybe clear straps would be a good middle ground.

  5. thanks for your pix of M6328 which is not yet reviewed on PR. I also love your comments on M6345, so funny – I actually want this pattern and I was at Hobby Lobby yesterday for the McCall’s sale — anyway, apparently this pattern is so slutty looking they don’t carry it. They’re too Christian for that pattern.

    • “They’re too Christian for that pattern,” made me laugh until juice came out my nose. Seriously, thanks for that!

      Actually, my local JoAnns JUST now got the new fall patterns in, so they might not have gotten the new group yet? Or they really are too Christian…ha, that’s just ludicrous.

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