In Which I Impersonate A Horror Movie Actress

I just spent the last two days trying to fit a straight skirt.  Did I just say “trying?”  Yes.  Yes, I did.

This is pretty much the end result:

No, wait, that’s entirely too genteel.  Let’s try this again.

There!  Much closer.

Technically, it is possible to fit any pattern on any body.  Note that I did say, “technically.”  My problem is that my high hip is pretty much nonexistent.  Where the pattern expects me to curve, I’m almost concave.  My curves start much lower, with a muscular front thigh and a full derriere.  This makes me sound like I’m shaped like J-Lo, but I promise you it’s much MUCH less dramatic than that.  Be that as it may, sewing fitted garments is a problem.  I have to allow enough fullness below the hip, but pin to fit a combined hip/waist that almost certainly will be one to two sizes smaller.  I could cut a size smaller and blend to the larger size at the low hip, but I would still end up with hip curves in the wrong place which have to be pinned out.  Annoying.  My usual method is to avoid sewing straight skirts and pants, but that is starting to seem silly.

In any case, this is clearly a moment where I need to put a project aside, lest I end up looking like this:

[I was going to put a picture of the girl from The Exorcist here, but I scared myself too much looking for appropriate clip art.  I have mentioned I’m something of a weenie, right?]

I’ll be back….


Posted on June 28, 2011, in my weird sense of humor, sewing. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Deep breath. Walk away. Try again later.

    I, too, always have to straighten out the the hip curve, although I don’t have as much muscle lower down to accommodate. The opposite, actually—I’m usually blending a larger waist to a smaller hip.

    Good luck!

  2. Also, I used to freak myself out if I played Myst by myself. Remember that game? The one with NO CHARACTERS where NOTHING moved? yeah, that one. Scared the pants off me.

  3. Can you post a picture of you in profile wearing fitted pants and top? I have a tailoring book that might have a solution for you…

  4. You’re much more beautiful than The Exoricist kid. Don’t forget how good Ellie Mae Clampett looked in overalls.

    • I was all excited by your compliment, until I realized….more beautiful than the Exorcist kid sets the bar really, really low. It’s probably impossible for a non-contagious person to look worse.

      I try not to wear overalls, because they make me look like I’m about 5 and things just get porn-y and weird.

  5. Oh, yeah. “Exoricist.” Nice.

    Enough frozen daiquiris.

    • There can never be enough frozen daiquiris. Also, I googled “Exoricist” in case it was some kind of inside joke. Turns out it’s just the most common way to misspell Exorcist. The number of people who claim “The Exoricist is my favorite movie!” would bring tears to your eyes.

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