Denim Diaries II — How to Win Friends and Traumatize People

Jeans sewing has reached an impasse, since I need to rip out a wonky leg seam.  Also, no camera.  Grrr….  So while we wait, I thought I’d explain the impetus to sew jeans.  Well, my impetus anyway; you’ll have to explain your own.

I know many women get frustrated in the search for the perfect pair of jeans — the ritual seems to be go shopping, try on 20-plus pairs of jeans, cry, vow to go on a diet, leave mall empty-handed.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  However, I think I’m the only person I know who managed to transfer my jeans angst to someone else.  Literally, one of my besties who is terrified of shopping for jeans entirely because of ME.  And you thought my skills were limited to sewing and snark.

Everyone, meet my friend Erika.  Erika, this is everyone.  Now picture the camera going all swirly and murky while we flash back to 20 years ago….  Erika and I have been dropped at the mall for an afternoon with the meager contents of our allowance, and I in particular am in search of jeans.  The perfect jeans.  The jeans that will make me slim, popular, and fulfilled but still cost less than $25.

I was a teenager.  What can I say?

We shopped every store in the mall.  We shopped from Macy’s at one end to Nordstrom on the other.  We crossed the footbridge and shopped at another, adjacent mall (I live in retail heaven, the malls here are insane).  Finally, after five hours and innumerable jeans later, I peered into a mirror at a barely acceptable pair of Lees and said with a sigh, “What do you think?”

Erika, already curled into the fetal position in a corner of the dressing room, unfurled herself long enough to say, “THEY LOOK FINE.  FOR GOD’S SAKE, BUY THEM ALREADY!”  It was while watching her sob and rock in the corner that I started to feel deeply uneasy about this entire jeans experience.

I never did enjoy wearing that pair of Lees.

Every now and again, I’ll be somewhere with Erika and I’ll mention shopping.  She gets a little twitch and a manic smile, and I have to back away from her slowly.  Well, it’s a 20 year friendship….I try to allow people their little quirks.


Posted on May 10, 2011, in MPB Jeans Sew-Along, my weird sense of humor. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I wear my jeans until they literally dry-rot off my body for just this reason — Jeans-Shopping Trauma. All I want is a pair of pants that will actually CONCEAL my underwear, is that too much to ask???

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